Black Dawn
by Kasmiria
Summary: New Moon, retold from Edward Cullen's point of view. We all know how Bella dealt with her sorrow but how did Edward?
1. Preface

_**Disclaimer & A/N:**_

_All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer as well as any of the dialogue that is used in Bella's presence. The titles for chapters 1-3 and chapters 20-24 also belong to Stephenie Meyer. I know I should probably create my own conversations but I want this story to be as close to New Moon as possible. I do not take credit for any of that dialogue. I WILL create my own conversations later on as the story moves out of Bella's presence so please don't freak at me over it. Thanks. Any references or conversations used from Twilight also belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_(I do not own anything from the Twilight series or to be more specific, New Moon in this case. Obviously)_

_**07/08/08**__  
All right. So, I'm currently in the process of editing all the old work I did for this. (So yes, this preface has also been tweaked slightly. Nothing major since I didn't find too much wrong with this section.) But chapter 1 and 2, I'm definitely fine-tuning. For now, I'll settle with self-editing, but later on, as I get on with the story, I might try to find a beta reader so in the future, I might re-upload yet again. But that's not set in stone. Judging from my progress, chapter 1 should be up later tonight or tomorrow._

**Preface**

I knew as I stood against the shadows that it was over now. Finally it was okay to let my mind wander-- to dream again. Despite now, during my darkest hour, I was content. Even though I acknowledged that in the end, only death awaited me, I was happier than I'd been for a long, long time.

I understood my decision would inevitably hurt my family; Esme especially, but I could not bring myself to go back. What use was that anyway? It would change nothing. I hoped it would end quickly-- I wanted to be whole again, though deep down, I knew I would always be missing a part of me, but I still I tried to cling on to a shred of hope.

It's funny, how time seems to drag when it is evidently running out. It was as if someone had set the world in slow motion; everything seemed to crawl along at an even slower pace than usual. The huge clock on the tower above began to toll-- once, twice, and three times, on and on, but my attention was focused elsewhere. I took a deep breath; one of the last I'd ever take. My movements felt slow and stiff as I stepped forward towards the light to meet my fate. 


	2. Chapter 1 : Party

_**Disclaimer & A/N:**_

_HAHA. Okay. I'm lazy. So, I'm just gonna copy and paste the disclaimer today. But, please read the A/N._

All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer as well as any of the dialogue that is used in Bella's presence. The titles for chapters 1-3 and chapters 20-24 also belong to Stephenie Meyer. I know I should probably create my own conversations but I want this story to be as close to New Moon as possible. I do not take credit for any of that dialogue. I WILL create my own conversations later on as the story moves out of Bella's presence so please don't freak at me over it. Thanks. Any references or conversations used from Twilight also belong to Stephenie Meyer.

_(I do not own anything from the Twilight series or to be more specific, New Moon in this case. Obviously)  
_

_**07/08/08**__  
So yay! I got Chapter 1 edited. (haha. And it's midnight.)  
Okay, so I'm still having issues with it. I insterted some more paragraphs for flow. Changed the phrasing a bit, and tried to get into the characters a little more. I'm still not doing too well on Edward's role. For some reason, I just can't phrase things to sound like him. I'm still trying to work on that portion of the story so any __**constructive criticism **__is welcomed, as usual. Just, no flames please. Enjoy?_

**Chapter 1 : Party**

_Calm down Edward, she'll be here soon._

I merely nodded, used to having these silent exchanges with Alice. A vision swept through her head and I saw a motionless image of a red Chevy truck heading towards the school. I sighed. I had to see it with my own eyes to believe that she'd made it through the rest of the day unscathed in my absence. Who knew? Just because Alice saw her coming didn't mean something couldn't happen along the way...

_See? I told you so._ Alice's mental tone was smug. She knew I'd been tapping in to her thoughts, not that it was easy to ignore Alice's bubbling excitement when she was right beside me. _Now would you please stop pacing? It's driving me crazy! Anyways, so what do you think? Chocolate cake or cheesecake? No, maybe tiramisu... _She paused for an answer. _Edward? I'm practically screaming my thoughts so I know you can hear me! _Another pause._ All right, fine! What about sponge cake? You know, in every scenario, I get the image of Bella with a look of displeasure on her face. _I considered adding that Alice should just give it up, because either way, Bella wouldn't like the fuss and she'd try to find some way to weasel out of the event. Instead, I pinpointed my concentration on tuning out Alice's mental chatter but she continued to ramble on and on about what cake she should serve for the party tonight, though no one but Bella would actually eat it. Why was she asking me anyway? None of us were what you could all "experts" in the field of taste when it came to human food.

But I had the decency in me to stop pacing, keeping my gaze fixed on the spot where I knew Bella would drive through.

Sure enough a moment later, just as Alice had predicted, I caught Bella's scent and the sound of her approaching truck in the distance.

I grinned absently knowing I would see her soon. My mind relished at the image of Bella's smile-- the image I'd survived off of for the past eighteen hours.

I knew I couldn't have put it off any longer. Over the past weeks, the usual ocher of my eyes had gradually shifted until they were dark brown. That's when, the only sensible thing to do was to have to go off on a hunting trip. Not far of course, but just enough so my thirst would be more bearable. I didn't like being away, and these trips were a bitter reminder of how, no matter what, I would always be a danger to Bella for as long as she remained mortal.

It was horrible whenever we were apart, feeling the agony of separation withering at my mind, or wondering if she was safe. Mercifully, we weren't separated often except for my hunting trips and the days when the sun wasn't veiled behind a curtain of heavy clouds, which was seldom in such a rainy town as Forks. We were almost inseparable at school. Afternoons were usually spent at her house until Charlie orders me out promptly everyday at half past nine, declaring an end to Bella's visiting hours.

I didn't mind Charlie kicking me out or rather, any of his rules. He was after all a cop so he knew right from wrong. He only wanted what he thought was best for his daughter. And who was I to complain even if I did object? The reason Bella even had new restrictions like curfew and visiting hours was me. If my very existence didn't put Bella in danger then she would still be living a normal life instead of desiring for a cursed existence.

I should've left long ago and I should leave now, but I craved Bella's company too much. Was I a selfish creature to choose my desire? The idea of leaving was so painful that I quickly shook it from my head.

Of course Charlie's rule about visiting hours did little in actually keeping Bella and I apart. He was completely unaware that I had the ability to return my car and get back through Bella's bedroom window, usually spending the night, in a matter of minutes.

I smiled as Bella finally drove into the student lot. The effect of seeing her face was instantaneous. A feeling of ease washed over me at long last. The anxiety that had plagued me since yesterday vanished with just one look into her familiar brown eyes. I leaned back against my silver Volvo, motionless as I waited.

As she got out of her truck, Alice skipped over at a human pace to meet her.

"Happy birthday, Bella!"

"Shh!" She glanced around anxiously as if suspecting people to jump out from behind the cars, scowling slightly. A look of annoyance displayed on her face over the fact that Alice had disobeyed her orders regarding attention and presents for her birthday. Bella thinking differentiated her from most humans. Their thoughts were usually trite and their reactions easy to predict but Bella never failed to surprise me. The fact she was also the only exception to my ability had been surprising enough. Sometimes however, I wished she'd understand the danger and avoid my kind for her own good.

Alice laughed quietly at her reaction and continued, "Do you want to open your present now or later?" She offered the small silver wrapped square she held in her hands -- our present.

"No presents," mumbled Bella as they made their way towards where I waited.

_I guess she meant what she said about gifts and attention. Oh well, no rush. There's still tonight... _Alice thought over in her head. "Okay... later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

My lips twitched upwards. My family weren't the only ones who'd overlooked her requests to ignore her birthday. Alice and I both knew what Bella's parents had been deciding to get her. Alice had "seen" the presents as soon as their minds were made up. I simply "overheard" Charlie's thoughts as he made plans late at night with Renée after he made sure Bella was asleep.

I heard Bella sigh before she replied. "Yeah. They're great."

"_I_ think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience," Alice offered cheerfully.

"How many times have you been a senior?" retorted Bella.

"That's different."

I held out my hand for Bella when she reached me and she eagerly took it. The warmth of her touch against my frigid skin was soothing. The touch was soft, like the feeling of a butterfly's flutter. I gently squeezed her hand. As she looked up I heard her heart falter. I grinned to suppress my amused laughter.

With the fingertip of my other hand I traced the outline of her lips. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct," Bella said. I fought back another laugh at her attempt to mimic the articulation that could only be picked up from much earlier times.

"Just checking." I ran my hand through my hair. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts," I teased. As if I hadn't learned by now not to expect her to be like most humans.

Alice soft laughter tinkled like a tune from a music box. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that can happen?" It was meant as rhetorical question.

Beside me Bella frowned. "Getting older," she grumbled anyway.

My smile disappeared. It felt like we'd been discussing this a lot after Bella had gotten back from Phoenix last spring. Ever since Alice had told her how vampires were created, Bella wanted nothing more but for me to change her and there was no way I was going to do that. She didn't know what she was asking for -- to be damned to an eternity of night -- a soulless monster forever. I was dead set against her having a future like that.

_Sorry Edward._

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said, keeping her tone light. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

"It's older than Edward," muttered Bella automatically.

I sighed. I could see this was going to be a difficult conversation.

"Technically," Alice replied, her tone still light. "Just by one little year, though."

There was a long pause and Bella seemed to be thinking about something. I hoped she saw Alice's point.

Alice interrupted the silence and changed the topic. "What time will you be at the house?" Her facial expression was eager again as hundreds of plans tumbled through her head.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there." She should have known that this was going to happen. Alice seized any occasion to plan an event.

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" Alice griped. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want," Bella countered.

_Edward! Do something! Help me out here!_

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," I said, ignoring Bella's protests.

"I have to work," Bella said, almost proud that she'd found an excuse. As usual, Alice had foreseen this and planned ahead.

"You don't, actually," Alice said, smiling smugly. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I--I still can't come over." Alice smelled an easy victory with Bella scrambling for excuses. "I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

I chuckled under my breath and Alice snorted. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized," she reminded Bella.

"But Mr. Berty said said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it--that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

I rolled my eyes. She'd watched it a million times already.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice said, echoing my thoughts. She was still wearing a smug smile.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Alice stopped smiling. _This is more difficult than I anticipated. Guess I'll just have to use force._

"This can be easy, or it can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other--"

I interrupted her threat. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there," added Bella, triumphant with her victory. I smiled again. I wasn't going to let her off so easily.

"I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up."

Alice laughed, her thoughts right back to party plans again. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." Grinning, she kissed Bella quickly on the cheek before prancing off towards her first class.

"Edward, please--" Bella started to beg but I shushed her, pressing my finger against her lips.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

Bella looked around, seeming to notice for the first time that the lot was nearly vacant. "Oh."

I was glad there was no more gossip over Bella and I being together. It had been quite irritating for some time hearing the preposterous assumptions and rumours that registered in the minds of the student body of Forks High.

I was usually good at blocking out the hundreds of voices that prattled endlessly in my head, but even then I could still hear them.

Assumptions had gotten so far out that it it was even rumored that I'd bribed Chief Swan with money to date his daughter. Silly, but still, rumors rattled around the student population but gradually they faded.

We took our usual seats as Mr. Berty entered to begin class. I admit, sometimes being a vampire had its advantages. The female administrators had been more than willing to change my schedule -- a smile being the only prompting they needed-- so now I had almost all my classes with Bella.

_There's Bella! ...and Cullen. Well, she looks happy enough. Still, I wish that was me with her._

I turned automatically towards Mike's "voice" but of course my name hadn't been spoken aloud, only thought. Mike was smiling enthusiastically at Bella. Well, at least he'd stopped looking like a half drowned puppy every time he saw us together. For the most part Newton had accepted that Bella wanted only to be friends with him but I knew he still harbored a secret hope that she would give up on me-- He'd even gone as far as to try and imitate my hairstyle, like some third grader, going along with the trend. Typical for a human.

English passed the same as usual. When you've lived for over a century and gone through school who knows how many times there isn't much information that the teachers can pull up that would surprise you. To pass the time, I watched Bella. The way she perched herself on her chair. The way she let her silky and long brown hair drape over her shoulder. The way her brow furrowed in concentration. It all amazed me.

Government class was spent in similar fashion -- simply watching. After, I dropped Bella off for Calculus class before I headed off to my car. Gym was next but Coach Clapp had a lecture prepared for tennis and I couldn't be bothered to show up for the dreary lesson.

I got into my car and rummaged for a CD to put on and sat back watching the raindrops fall against the windshield. The droplets rolled off the glass, taking other drops along the way. Wasn't this similar to the way life worked? People are born, they live, and they die. Sometimes they took others with them. Some going faster than others. It's the way things are supposed to be. How different would the world be if Carlisle hadn't found me during 1918? I was reminded of Mike's longing wish back in the classroom. If I had been left to die like nature had intended along with roughly twenty-five million others in the pandemic, would Mike be the one by Bella's side? And she, able to live a normal, healthy, human life, away from danger?

All those lives I took.. If I never existed, how many lives would they have taken? But I knew I couldn't atone for my sins of taking the lives of hundreds of humans, no matter how corrupt those beings were. A life was a life--something that I'd never have again. Sure I was alive, but was I really without a soul? Neither dead nor living and forever frozen in this ageless body. I'd traded my soul for an immortal existence, forever barring me from a chance of whatever possible afterlife even after death. Or was it even reasonable to call it "death"? Would I be forced to wander even after I was reduced to nothing but ashes?

Carlisle had other views. According to him, he believed, or at least hoped, we would get some type of compensation for giving up human blood. But I had my doubts...

_Edward, I'm taking the car so I can go shopping after school. _Alice's thought broke me free of my reflections. I got out of the car and walked back towards the school. It was getting close for our next class so I went to wait for Bella outside the classroom.

The bell rang ending class. The noise irked my sensitive hearing.

"Hey," Bella said when she'd finally made it out of the classroom. I brushed back her long brown hair and kissed her lightly on her forehead. As usual her heart gave a lurch and I chuckled at the response. Embarrassed, Bella blushed, tinting her cheeks with a rosy pink.

"How was your night?"

"Um.."

"Sweet dreams?" I encouraged, thinking it was embarrassment that kept her hesitant.

"Yeah. Of course." She averted her eyes from my face and flushed. It was a horrible lie but if she didn't want to tell me, I wouldn't press.

"Shall we?" I took her hand as we walked together to Spanish.

In the cafeteria, Alice was waiting for us at the table, a tray of food already in front of her. Routinely, we got our food and sat down by our usual table and were joined shortly by Bella's friends. Now that Emmett and the others had graduated, I guess Alice and I seemed less intimidating. Alice, Bella, and I sat at the southern end of the table. Mike, Jessica, Angela, Ben, Eric, Conner, Tyler, and Lauren (a self-centered girl who was just along for the attention) all crowded on the opposite side. We didn't so much care about the minor ostracism at the table as much as Bella worried we would. Although we all sat together, our presence still made other humans uncomfortable enough that they didn't try making conversation. It was only natural for them to feel uneasy around us even though they themselves didn't actually know why. Excluding Bella, I had yet to meet another human who felt so comfortable around my kind.

It bothered me sometimes just how comfortable Bella seemed around my family. What usually would send an average human screaming in fear didn't have the same effect on Bella. She would merely laugh about it or try to seek out details. Personally, I thought her behaviour was hazardous to her health and she had no sense of self-preservation, a point which of course she disagreed with every time it was mentioned.

_...sure feels awkward sitting with Jessica.I wonder if she's still mad about..._

_...I hope Isaac and Joshua keep it down today..._

_...think the game tonight is on at around..._

I ignored the monotonous chatter of thoughts but one caught my attention.

_...Ugh, look at her. It's not enough that she has half the boys in the school after her but even the Cullens are all over her. It's ridiculous how long this has lasted._ _How disgusting_. This particular thought came from no other than Lauren Mallory, who's thoughts were usually contemptuous towards anyone who was more popular than herself. My body tensed in response, almost reflexively. My reaction surprised me. This was obviously not the first time I'd heard such type of thoughts registered. But it was as if even though Bella couldn't hear those thoughts, I still felt the need to shield her from any malicious thoughts.

My chair jerked as Bella kicked it from under the table.

"Ow," she whispered, probably over a stubbed toe.

"Sorry." I smiled apologetically.

I turned away from Lauren and towards Bella.

"So, where did you go yesterday?" she asked, meeting my gaze.

"Just around here. We didn't go very far. Got a few deer that's all," I replied, thankful for the distraction from Lauren's pesky thoughts. "What did you do?"

"I finished my homework, read a little...and missed you a lot," admitted Bella, with her usual blush.

I took her hand from where it was resting on the edge of her chair, kissing her fingertips lightly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

A few moments later, Alice fluidly got up from her seat and deposited her untouched tray into the garbage--just like every other day. We had no reason to eat any of it unless we absolutely had to in order to blend in with the humans. I wrinkled my face in distaste at the memory of the time Bella had dared me to eat. Coughing the bite of pizza up after was not a pleasant experience, as with any food. So to avoid unecessary discomfort, my family usually came up with a excuse if ever questioned about our "lack of appetite." How ironic. If only they knew _why_ we curbed our appetites.

"Are you done eating?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's get to class then," I said, picking up both trays with one hand, still holding her hand with my other.

The afternoon stretched on, as uneventful as the morning. In Biology, Mr. Banner was irritatingly determined as ever to catch me off-guard with a question whenever he thought I wasn't paying attention. With two graduate degrees in medicine and the ability to read his mind even if he did catch me off-guard, it was a wasted effort.

School ended and I walked Bella to her truck. By now, Alice had already taken my car so I held the passenger door open for Bella. She folded her arms and stood firmly in the rain. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" she demanded when I waited for her to get in.

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished." I reminded her.

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight...," Bella argued back.

I flinched mentally as I pictured Alice's angry face if I didn't comply. "All right." I sighed, shutting the passenger door and opening the driver's side for her. "Happy birthday."

"Shh," Bella shushed only halfheartedly, trying to contain her glee.

As she drove, I fiddled with Bella's radio, not able to restrain teasing her a little. "Your radio has horrible reception," I shook my head in mock disapproval. I knew she hated it whenever I complained about her truck. For some unfathomable reason, she loved that truck, though it was loud and couldn't go over a speed of sixty.

"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car," she snapped. I tried not to smile from amusement.

When Bella parked in front of Charlie's, her body was tense and she bit her bottom lip nervously. Her forehead was creased in a worried frown. I reached over and took her pale heart-shaped face in my hands, gently so I didn't hurt her--she didn't realize just how easily that could happen.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" Bella asked. She was definitely losing her concentration. Already her breathing was uneven.

"Too bad." I smiled and leaned in, inhaling Bella's sweet scent. Freesia.

Our lips touched -- her lips warm and soft. My mouth lingered on hers, I didn't want to let go; didn't want this to end. I was aware of Bella slowly wrapping her arms around my neck and her fingers tangling in my hair, her breathing grew even more ragged and she threw herself with too much ecstasy into the kiss. Swiftly yet reluctantly, I pulled away. Bella already knew the reason behind my action. She was well aware that even a slight graze against my razor-sharp teeth could mean death for her. Just one tiny scratch and the venom on my teeth would enter her bloodstream and begin the conversion. Even if I didn't kill her myself, I'd end up taking her soul and that was just too much. Bella knew but she tended to forget.

"Be good, please," I murmured against her cheek. I kissed her again quickly and then folded her arms across her stomach.

Bella pressed her hand against her heart as it drummed erratically. "Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she wondered, talking mostly to herself.

I smiled smugly, secretly enjoying her human reactions. "I really hope not."

"Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?" she said after she'd rolled her eyes at me.

"Your wish, my command." I made a show of bowing after I opened the door on the driver's side.

I was sprawled across the old couch while Bella started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits but it wasn't the TV screen that I watched. Bella was far more interesting.

She hit the "play" button and came to to sit, perched on the edge of the sofa. From behind, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I wasn't exactly cozy to snuggle against, being hard and cold so I pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa, draping it around Bella so she'd be warmer.

"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," I mentioned as the movie began.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" Bella asked, her tone offended.

"Well first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline -- don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle?," I asked before continuing, "And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

Bella sighed. "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway," I admitted. I started doodling patterns on her arm. Suddenly I was curious. "Will you cry?"

Bella blushed. "Probably," she admitted sheepishly, "if I'm paying attention."

I chuckled. "I won't distract you then," I said and kissed her hair.

I whispered Romeo's lines into Bella's ear as she stared intently at the screen while I waited to see her reaction. She started to cry when Juliet found her new husband dead and I laughed quietly in amusement.

For a moment I was lost in my memories. "I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said as I dried Bella's tears with a lock of her long hair.

She automatically assumed I was talking about Juliet. "She's very pretty."

I snorted in disgust. Bella was a thousand times better. "I don't envy him the girl -- just the ease of suicide," I teased. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..." I trailed off as Bella's face contorted in horror.

She took a sudden intake of breath. "What?"

I tried to make my tone carefree to lighten the suddenly tense turn the conversation had taken. "It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning...after he realized what he'd become..." Bella was still looking horrified and I tried to smile. "And he's clearly still in excellent health," I added.

She twisted around in my arms, trying to read my expression. Her own was still horrified and clearly upset. "What are you talking about?," she demanded. "What do you mean, this is something you had to think about once?"

"Last spring, when you were...nearly killed.." I barely choked out the last two words. Three images flashed in my head. The first one was of the airport when I searched desperately for the one face I wanted to see the most and not finding it amongst the sea of faces in the crowd. The second image was James, his eyes blazing, wild with thirst as he moved in for the kill, the fear choking the air from my lungs, thinking I was too late. The last image was Bella lying there crumpled and broken in the shattered mirrored room, bleeding and in pain. I paused and took a deep breath as the memories caught up with me. I struggled to use a lighter, nonchalant tone. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

For a moment Bella was quiet. Unthinkingly, she traced the crescent shaped scar on her hand, that was left by James, visible even against her pale skin She shook her head, probably trying to dislodge the unpleasant memory. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. It sounded confused and scared at the same time. "Contingency plans?"

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." I rolled my eyes. I'd thought I had made that fact obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it --I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help... so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

I remembered the hundreds of the plans I had made, all the while racing to save Bella from James's clutch.

"What is a _Volturi_?" Bella's voice matched her outraged facial expression. It cut through my reminiscing.

"The Volturi are a family," I clarified as I remembered the first time Carlisle had told me his story showing me the vividly colourful painting that now hung in his office. "A very old, powerful family of our kind. They are the closest our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America -- do you remember the story?" On her first visit to my home I'd told her the same story about Carlisle's stay with Aro, Caius, and Marcus.

"Of course I remember."

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued with the explanation. "Not unless you want to die-- or whatever it is we do." I finished casually.

Bella looked like I'd just suggested we burn the house down. She reached up and tightly grasped my face between her hands. Her eyes were hectic as they searched mine.

"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" she reprimanded. "No matter what might ever happen to me, you are _not allowed _to hurt yourself!"

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point," I pointed out. It was meant as a reassurance but Bella got even angrier.

"_Put_ me in danger! I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?" Her face crumpled a bit. "How dare you even think that?"

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked.

"That's not the same thing," her reply was softer now.

I laughed when I couldn't see the difference

Bella made a face. "What if something did happen to you?" she retorted. "Would you want me to go _off _myself?"

I winced. She hit the mark. If something _did_ happen to me, although my concern was more righteously placed with her, I would never want her to hurt herself because of it. Bella had a life ahead of her and I'd want her to continue with it regardless of what happened to me. "I guess I see your point... a little," I conceded. "But what would I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," she said fiercely.

"You make that sound so easy," I said with a sigh. Plus it felt more like the other way around. I was really the one complicating her existence by putting her in danger and turning her away from humanity by staying with her. It felt wrong for Bella to be willing to forfeit her life for immortality so she could be with me forever.

"It should be. I'm not really that interesting."

I wanted to argue. Bella didn't see herself very clearly. She was convinced that she was painfully ordinary and couldn't grasp why I found her so interesting. I wanted so much to tell her why she meant so much to me and exactly why her opinion about herself was so wrong. Instead I let it go. "Moot point," I said again.

_...There's a game on tonight and I really don't want to miss it but it's Bella's birthday and she doesn't like baseball. Maybe she's got plans... The thought came from around the corner._

Quickly, I pulled my myself up from my position into a more formal one and shifted Bella further from me so we weren't making contact anymore.

"Charlie?" she guessed.

I smiled, not answering. He was close enough now so I didn't need to. After a moment, we could hear the sound of the police cruiser pulling up in the driveway. Bella reached for my hand and held it firmly in hers. I grinned.

Charlie walked in then, carefully balancing a box of pizza.

"Hey, kids." He grinned at Bella. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad," she replied.

I passed on dinner as usual of course and Charlie didn't probe. He was accustomed to this.

I waited until they were done eating to bring up the party just to be polite. I already knew what Charlie's response would be. "Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?"

_Looks like she actually did have plans. Well that's good. Big game tonight so it's for the best if she went... _Charlie thought with relief.

Bella looked hopefully at Charlie for his answer, waiting to see if he could get her out of Alice's plans.

"That's fine-- the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight." The corner of Bella's mouth curved downward slightly. "So I won't be any kind of company." He picked up the camera Renée had suggested him to get so Bella could fill up her scrapbook . "Here," he tossed it to her. Bella made an attempt to catch it but it grazed the tip of her finger and plummeted toward the floor. I caught it before it hit.

"Nice save," Charlie complimented, his eyebrows arched in surprise. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullen's tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets--she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie," I said and handed the camera to Bella.

Abruptly, she raised the camera and snapped a shot of me. "It works," she laughed.

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." Alice charmed Charlie and she came and went through the house as she pleased, with no hours of limitation. Charlie was still grateful for when she'd stepped in to help Bella during her recuperation from the incident last spring.

Bella rolled her eyes. "It's been three days, Dad," she reminded him. "I'll tell her."

_That's good. I hope she has fun tonight...Oh! Only a few more minutes to the game. Lost track of time there..._

"Okay. You kids have fun tonight." Charlie eagerly dismissed us, and started to inch towards the television.

I grinned in triumph and took her hand, leading her outside.

We reached the truck and I held open the passenger door. Bella got in without any complaints this time, knowing she couldn't find the sudden turnoff to the house in the dark.

I headed north out of town, slightly miffed about the speed limit enforced by the old truck. The loud engine groaned even louder as I tried to go over fifty.

"Take it easy," she exhorted beside me.

"You know what you would love?" I mused. "A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power..."

Bella interrupted with an objection. "There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents."

"Not a dime," I promised. Personally I didn't see why she objected so much if I took her out to dinner in Seattle, or if I offered to pay for her college tuition. Bella should know that money was nothing in my family when you have a sister who predicts changes in the stock market, unlimited time, and Carlisle's wages over the years without normal needs to tend to.

"Good," she said with satisfaction.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked.

"That depends on what it is."

I sighed. I didn't usually bring up these things but I wanted her to understand. "Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935," I explained. "Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

"Fine, I'll behave."

"I probably should warn you...," I added for her benefit.

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited...I do mean all of them."

"Everyone?" she asked with surprise. "I thought Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa." Everyone but Bella in Forks thought that the older Cullens were in Dartmouth, attending college.

"Emmett wanted to be here." I didn't mention Rosalie. Unlike Alice, Rosalie wasn't as accepting about Bella and she didn't try to keep it a secret.

"But...Rosalie?" she probed anyway.

I tried to reassure her. "I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behaviour."

Bella didn't respond.

There was a long uncomfortable silence so I changed the subject. "So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

"You know what I want," she murmured quietly.

I frowned at the change of conversation. I wished I hadn't brought it up. "Not tonight, Bella. Please," I said warily.

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want."

A growl ripped from my throat. Alice wouldn't dare. "This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella."

"That's not fair!"

I clenched my teeth, unwilling to continue this argument. I pulled up to the house. All the lights were on, on the first two floors. A long line of brightly lit Japanese lanterns were strung from the porch eaves all the way around the house and the stairs that led up to the front doors were lined on each side by big bowls of pink roses-- Alice's handiwork.

Bella groaned at the decorations.

I concentrated on taking a couple of deep breaths to calm down from the dispute in the car. "This is a party. Try to be a good sport," I reminded her of the favor she'd agreed to.

"Sure."

I walked around the truck and offered her my hand when I opened the door.

"I have a question."

I waited for her to speak, warily wondering how long we'd have this argument for.

"If I develop this film," she said, fiddling with camera, "will you show up in the picture?"

Surprise flitted briefly across my face. I hadn't been expecting her to ask me that. Her question caught me off guard and she sounded so worried about it that I couldn't help laughing, as I pulled her out of the car and up the stairs.

The interior of the house was covered with more crystal bowls with roses and pink candles on every flat surface available. Next to the grand piano was a pink birthday cake, roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of presents on top of a white cloth that draped the table underneath.

As she stepped in, she was greeted with a chorus of "Happy birthday, Bella!" It echoed in the spacious living room.

_What do you think? _Alice asked in her head. She looked pleased with her handiwork.

Bella blushed, her cheeks turning the same colour as the roses everywhere. I smiled assuringly at her and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer to kiss the top of her head.

Carlisle and Esme were standing by the door so they approached first. Esme gently pulled her into a hug, her hair brushing against Bella's cheek as she kissed her on the forehead. Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders.

"Sorry about this, Bella," he whispered, not that we couldn't hear him anyway. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

In response to the comment, Alice giggled from where she was standing, holding Jasper's hand. Behind Carlisle and Esme, Emmett had a big goofy grin on his face. Next to him, Rosalie didn't smile, focusing on her reflection cast by one the crystal bowls.

_Ugh. She's so willing to just throw it all away. _Rosalie had heard us arguing.

I glared meaningfully toward her. She turned away from the bowl when she caught me on it's mirrored surface.

_What Edward? I'm behaving myself aren't I? Stay out of my head if you don't want to hear it._

Emmett interrupted our silent exchange when he spoke, faking his disappointed tone. "You haven't changed at all. I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett.," Bella answered, blushing deeper.

Emmett chuckled. " I have to step out for a second" -- he turned to quickly wink at Alice --"Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try."

_Hey Edward, fill me in later about her reaction._

I kept a straight face during the exchange.

He ducked past us as Alice skipped forward with a mischievous grin. Jasper smiled but stayed where he was. He still had a hard time adjusting to the "vegetarian" diet so he kept his distance just in case.

"Time to open presents," Alice announced. She took Bella by her elbow and glided across the room, halting by the table with the silver-wrapped gifts. I trailed along behind them.

Bella attempted a stern look, like someone scolding a misbehaving child. "Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything--"

"But I didn't listen," Alice cut her off gleefully. "Open it," she said, replacing the camera in Bella's hands with a present.

She glanced curiously at the package. The gift was from Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. She tore off the paper, revealing a box that showed it was something electronic. She still look confused as she opened it to discover... that there was nothing inside.

"Um...thanks."

I laughed quietly along with Jasper. Even Rosalie couldn't help but smile.

"It's a stereo for your truck," Jasper explained. "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie." Bella, still grinning, turned toward the door. "Thanks, Emmett!"

She joined in with Emmett's laughter coming for the truck.

"Open mine and Edward's next." Alice's voice was high with excitement. She held out a small, flat square. Everyone drifted a little closer to look. No one knew what we'd decided to get her.

Bella glared at me. "You promised."

_Hey, wait for me!_

Emmett ran back in, pushing past Jasper. "Just in time!" he said, interrupting before I could respond.

"I didn't spend a dime." I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, my fingers lingering on her neck. The warmth was pleasant and I could feel her unsteady pulse beating underneath my fingertips.

Bella took a deep breath and sighed. "Give it to me."

With an exaggerated roll of her eyes to convey her exasperation, she slipped her finger under the paper and slid it under the tape in one quick motion.

"Shoot," she muttered and examined her finger. A single drop of blood oozed from the paper cut.

Three things happened in that second.

I could feel my entire body tense as the scent of her blood I so longed for came at me with such intensity. I cut off my breathing as fast as I could, but nonetheless, it lingered in my nostrils, multiplied and repeated in the thoughts of everyone in the room. The smell of that one tiny drop of blood ripped and burned at my insides. My throat clenched painfully in response and the venom pooled my mouth instantly. And then, there was Jasper...

He couldn't have been more than five feet away; his usual calm complexion broken. For me, the way I thirsted for _her _blood was more potent than the others but his thirst almost equalled mine. It was hard enough on a normal basis for him to resist, still struggling to adjust to our lifestyle, except now, with the red droplet right in front of him, it drove him mad.

_Just one sip. It'd be fast--she won't even feel it. No! I can't...no. Oh, but the smell... I bet it tastes even better than it smells... I can almost feel the warmth of her blood sliding down my throat. Just a tiny bit won't hurt. So delicious...The burning... it'll stop the burning._

My throat clenched again as Jasper's thoughts echoed in my mind. The smooth, quenching glide of the red liquid sliding down. Each breath he took-- how the scent swirled in his mind -- all repeated, over and over as he fought to curb his desire.

_No, no, no! I can't... I can't... For Alice, I can't. I decided I'd give that all up for her... for us. I can't go back to that past, I don't want to. But the smell... _Jasper was still arguing in his head. The pain doubled suddenly as I felt his thirst flare once more. _I...can't._ He thought one last time before his rational reasoning clouded over and the pain of his thirst overwhelmed his mind.

"No!" I bellowed as Alice gasped simultaneously.

I flung myself at Bella, knocking her into the table, sending everything on it tumbling onto the floor. Jasper who sprung only half a second after, crashed into me. The sound was like thunder, bouncing off the walls. Above the ear-splitting rumbling, sharp and angry snarls ripped from Jasper's throat as he tried desperately to get past me. His loud, grisly snarls sounded pained. Was it the thirst? Or was it a deeper pain? His teeth snapped shut just inches away from my face.

_I have to have some. Get out of my way! Move or I'll rip you to pieces! Let me have some!_

Emmet was there in a flash, ripping Jasper off me. He struggled against Emmett's grasp, trying to break free. Wild and thirsty, his eyes remained locked, only on Bella.

But Emmett held fast, his muscled arms bracing against the ferocity of Jasper's struggles. Even for Emmett, Jasper's desperate writhing was proving to be a challenge.

_Let me go, let me go! Can't you smell it? Let me go! Doesn't it burn? How could you resist... such a sweet, glorifying smell?_

I turned, horrified, as Bella slowly looked up from where she lay, surrounded by the bed of shattered glass that littered the floor. A long gash ran the length of half of her arm, starting at the inside of her elbow down to her wrist. Ribbons of blood snaked down her pale skin.

The worst part was seeing the shock, and fear in her widened eyes... and the reflection of six pairs of eyes, all feral with a burning thirst. But she only looked directly into one pair. Mine.


End file.
